


Even in the dark, I'll be with you.

by JenCollins



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Black Family, Brother Love, Brothers, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Walburga A+ Parenting, all the wrong choices, getting hurt, i guess some angst too, life can be a bitch, not so happy childhood, not so happy story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:34:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23859142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenCollins/pseuds/JenCollins
Summary: Regulus have always loved his brother, but sometimes life can be a real bitch.
Relationships: Regulus Black & Sirius Black
Kudos: 40





	Even in the dark, I'll be with you.

**Author's Note:**

> got inspired by simple textpost about Sirius getting a letter from James' parents and Regulus getting sad, so this come out of it, hope you enjoy.
> 
> once again, this is NOT a happy story.

**Even in the dark, I'll be with you.**

Growing up in the Black household wasn’t easy, it was challenging.

Regulus had always stayed one step behind Sirius, staying back on his own to admire his big brother.

He loved Sirius with all his heart, admiring him through and through.

Sirius was fun and joyful, a light in the dark, always making sure to brighten Regulus’ day.

But then his future shattered under his feet.

The morning hell broke loose, his mother was furious and his father refused to even say anything.

His big brother, Sirius, had been sorted into the wrong house.

Gryffindor.

Regulus cried that day, he cried because of his mother’s anger and he cried because he knew that he wouldn’t be with his brother as he had planned, as he had believed.

After that day, everything started to change.

Sirius got other friends, starting to challenge his parents, starting to refuse to follow the ideology they had grown up with.

Regulus was sorted into Slytherin, making his parents proud.

But instead of feeling proud, he felt sad, looking at the sad frown on Sirius' face as he made his way to the Slytherin table.

Sirius tried to smile at him and say that it wouldn’t change anything.

But Remus knew that even Sirius didn’t believe such a thing, he knew that it would change everything that they had still left untouched.

Regulus tried his best to please his parents, tried to outshadow Sirius’ mischief with his outstanding work, work that fit into his parents’ beliefs.

But they were still angry at Sirius, they were still punishing him.

And with each time, the punishments got stronger and deeper, a lot darker and filled with more hate.

A lot of the time, Regulus lay awake, thinking of how much his parents hated Sirius just because he wasn't an exact copy of them.

So Regulus tried harder, trying to please his parents even more so they would forget their hatred for Sirius.

But it threw him into another pit.

Sirius started to disagree with him more, starting to argue and get angry at Regulus.

\- Can’t you see that you are turning out just like them? Just as pitch black as they all are?! Don’t you care that you are turning out just as fucked up as they are?! - Sirius had lost his control once, pushing Regulus against the wall and yelling desperately in his face.

Something clenched painfully in Regulus' chest at those words.

His brother hated him when all he did was just try to protect him.

So Regulus did what he had learned from his parents and other Slytherins, he pushed down his pain, turning it into cruel anger.

\- The only one who’s fucked up here is you. You are filthy, dirtying our family’s name. - Regulus spat into Sirius' face.

Sirius jumped back as if he had been burned, looking at Regulus in disbelief, searching for something in his eyes, but all he could see there was pure cruelty.

Sirius didn’t say another word, hurrying away and leaving Regulus to slide down against the wall, letting his tears free.

He didn’t know that his mother had heard them that evening but he earned another proud look from her in the morning, getting the new broom he so wanted.

But Sirius didn’t even look at him, his anger bubbling so hard that it was choking Regulus across the room.

And that evening everything got worse.

Sirius lost his control fully, spitting into his parents’ faces about how they had ruined Regulus, spitting on their beliefs, letting all his anger out, not caring about respect towards your parents, he just let all his anger out.

And most of it was to stand up for Regulus.

He wanted to run into the room, to stand in front of Sirius, to help, but all he could do was stay back and watch as his mother punished Sirius until he screamed out in agony and was bleeding out on the carpet.

But even after that, Sirius pushed himself up, more by willpower than actual physical strength.

\- All you will get out of this is get him dead. - another blow, Sirius hitting the wall now, his mother furious, screaming about what filth he was.

Regulus was trembling all over, he couldn’t watch his brother get tortured like that, he just couldn’t, and yet, he stayed right where he was, taking each of Sirius' screams as a dagger right into his heart.

When their mother was finally done, Sirius was gasping for breath, spitting out blood, but somehow he still pushed himself up, his legs trembling from trying to hold him up. He pushed himself away from the wall, taking a step toward their mother with fire burning in his eyes.

\- You are not a mother. You are the one who’s a filth in this house and I am sorry that I was born from you. But I will no longer let you rule who I am. - Sirius was talking in a calm voice but then he spat blood straight at his mother’s face, turning on his heel and walking up to his room.

Regulus watched as Sirius threw everything in his trunk, still bleeding and panting for breath from all the pain still gripping his body.

He stopped in front of Regulus, his gaze a bit softer but still burning.

\- Are you coming with me or are you staying here? - his smooth voice had lost its spark, clenching at Regulus' chest even more.

He wanted to go with Sirius, he wanted to, he wished he could, but he couldn’t get disowned, he couldn’t do that.

\- Right. - Sirius nodded more for himself than to Regulus before walking down the stairs and out of the house, letting the doors slam shut.

Regulus felt like some part of him was leaving, like something was breaking.

But maybe Sirius would come back, he would come back to stay with Regulus. He would.

But the doors stayed shut, no one came.

And his mother blasted Sirius off of their family tree, disowning him.

The burn on the family tree carpet burned Regulus' heart, his soul.

He was truly alone.

The next time he saw Sirius was back in school.

He didn’t know if he could still call Sirius his brother but his heart still ached for him.

\- Parents wrote to me! Prongs! They wrote to me! - Sirius said with such joy in his voice, showing the open letter to James sitting next to him, who just smiled.

Regulus frowned, sure that Sirius couldn’t be so happy about them writing to him, but then realisation dawned on him.

Sirius wasn’t talking about their parents, he was talking about James' parents, calling them his.

And it came out so easily and so freely, with so much happiness.

Regulus didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry but in that moment he fully understood that he had lost his dear brother and nothing could bring him back to Regulus.

With that in his mind, he let himself fall deeper into all the pureblood beliefs, he let himself fall into his parents’ wants and needs.

He became a death eater, earning a sad look from Sirius, the rare one in years.

He was fighting against himself every single day, part of his mind screaming at him to stop, a part that sounded so much like Sirius it hurt.

But he still tried to do his best to please his parents who were so proud that he had joined Voldemort.

And now he was dying in a cave, doing the right thing.

And all he wanted to do was to call out to his brother, to cry and say how sorry he was for every wrong thing he had done.

He cried, wishing that Sirius would know that in the end, Regulus did follow him and did choose the right side.

He let himself be dragged into icy water with one last cry escaping his lips.

A soft plea of his brother’s name.

Sirius.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading.   
> Comments are really welcome!


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